Another great article, this one about building the self-esteem of children with Asperger's. I noticed that when Matthew turned eight years old, he began to notice the differences between him and the other kids in his gen ed class. He no longer wanted to wear the weighted vest, and we had to designate (at least, to the class) that the aide was "not assigned to Matthew" but to the entire class. Other kids began to comment about things he did (his meltdowns, tendency to monologue, and easy frustration). He began to get concerned about fitting in, and about being different.
Check out the article, as well as the support forum.
In other news, I have decided that I need to get moving on my third novel. It's mostly done, except that I decided that the ending of the third novel actually needed to be the ending of the fourth novel. So now I have two halves of a book, both of which aren't entirely right.
It's a daunting task not only to fix the consistency issues created by the split, but to create a new ending for the third book, and a new beginning for the fourth. Procrastination is my forte; couple the frustration with ongoing pain in my neck and shoulders from a fall this weekend, Christmas shopping, planning a "Festivus" for my in-laws and my husband's family, and making necklaces for my nieces for Christmas, and it will probably be after the new year when I finally dare to open the file.
So about that fall: Matthew decided to play a "prank" on me this weekend and put the dog's bed right outside my bedroom door. I walked out, stepped on the bed and my feet went out from under me. I fell backward, hitting my back and then my head. Per the ER I have no concussion (though it was disconcerting to have difficulty speaking and finding words for a few hours), although I essentially have whiplash. Ouch.
Poor kid, he felt so bad. He couldn't have anticipated that I would get really hurt; after all, cartoon characters slip and fall and prank each other all the time. We treated it as a learning opportunity and moved on.
I really feel sorry for the Lego customer service rep who was on the phone with me at the time, though. She heard me fall and offered to call 911 once I could actually speak to her again. I refused, but I'll bet she never had a customer take a header and need emergency care while on the phone with her before. A story to tell her family! (And yes, I think she felt sorry for me, and gave me the discount I was asking for. So it wasn't all bad.)
Susan
www.susancalistri.com
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
School Discipline and Autism
We face a very difficult decision this holiday season. Matthew has been having difficulties in his current school, which are significant enough that we now need to decided whether to keep Matthew in his current school (which has great academics and where he spends his days in gen ed and has an autism classroom for support) or move him to another school (where the academics are not as good, but there is a specific Aspergers classroom for support).
This decision is several months in the making. Although Matthew has an aide assigned to him for much of the day, attitudes have changed at his school. We originally went to this school because they were very accepting of kids with autism, and worked with me to help him in any way possible. But once fourth grade started, the attitudes changed. Instead of recognizing the very real disability that impairs his judgment and social functioning, it seems as if the current teacher believes that his behaviors are "intentional" and that he is a "bully" who can and should change his behaviors. They threaten discipline not related to his IEP and behavior plan, like appearing before the IAC (school disciplinary committee), even though the principal admitted that if he was ESE, she wouldn't do it...except that, like it or not, Matthew is ESE.
I don't disagree with her goals or those of the teacher. Matthew's social impairments and high level of anxiety lead him to often lash out at others, whether they are children in his class or adults trying to get him under control. I understand entirely the feelings of parents whose children are the target of his anxiety or frustration. On the other hand, I object to labels like "bully" or "intentional" because they imply that he has some measure of control over a condition that he clearly does not control. I am hopeful that Matthew will learn control with time, but he is clearly not a bully, in the sense that his lashing out has nothing to do with demeaning or belittling another child, and more about being unable to control his impulses and frustration.
[I am reminded of the scene from the movie Temple Grandin, where Temple lashes out at another graduate student, and is told by her teacher and mentor that her behavior is unacceptable. She is brilliant adult woman, obviously coached by her family and friends about correct behavior, who still can't control her frustration and impulses as an adult.]
Which brings us full circle to the decision to be made. Matthew's behavior specialist from the autism unit at the district is of the opinion that he needs to move, that attitudes have changed at his current school and when something is no longer working, you find something new that does. This new school has an Aspergers classroom, where he would have peers (as opposed to gen ed "friends" who think he's weird) and a teacher with a "think outside the box" attitude.
On the other hand, making a 9-year old switch schools, leaving behind all of his friends, the engineering curriculum that is so suited to his strengths, and all that is familiar, because the current school is no longer willing to accommodate seems like the wrong thing to do. What if the new school begins to make life difficult too? What if the teacher leaves? Then what....another school? Homeschool? We could "force" the school to accommodate better (they are already very accommodating, in my opinion), but how would that benefit Matthew, who has to face that teacher and principal every day? By law they are allowed to discipline him for his behaviors so long as they are following the IEP, and suspend him if necessary so long as the suspension or disciplinary measures are not a change in placement.
That leaves us with very little that we can do to change the current situation, other than change schools again.
Susan
www.susancalistri.com
This decision is several months in the making. Although Matthew has an aide assigned to him for much of the day, attitudes have changed at his school. We originally went to this school because they were very accepting of kids with autism, and worked with me to help him in any way possible. But once fourth grade started, the attitudes changed. Instead of recognizing the very real disability that impairs his judgment and social functioning, it seems as if the current teacher believes that his behaviors are "intentional" and that he is a "bully" who can and should change his behaviors. They threaten discipline not related to his IEP and behavior plan, like appearing before the IAC (school disciplinary committee), even though the principal admitted that if he was ESE, she wouldn't do it...except that, like it or not, Matthew is ESE.
I don't disagree with her goals or those of the teacher. Matthew's social impairments and high level of anxiety lead him to often lash out at others, whether they are children in his class or adults trying to get him under control. I understand entirely the feelings of parents whose children are the target of his anxiety or frustration. On the other hand, I object to labels like "bully" or "intentional" because they imply that he has some measure of control over a condition that he clearly does not control. I am hopeful that Matthew will learn control with time, but he is clearly not a bully, in the sense that his lashing out has nothing to do with demeaning or belittling another child, and more about being unable to control his impulses and frustration.
[I am reminded of the scene from the movie Temple Grandin, where Temple lashes out at another graduate student, and is told by her teacher and mentor that her behavior is unacceptable. She is brilliant adult woman, obviously coached by her family and friends about correct behavior, who still can't control her frustration and impulses as an adult.]
Which brings us full circle to the decision to be made. Matthew's behavior specialist from the autism unit at the district is of the opinion that he needs to move, that attitudes have changed at his current school and when something is no longer working, you find something new that does. This new school has an Aspergers classroom, where he would have peers (as opposed to gen ed "friends" who think he's weird) and a teacher with a "think outside the box" attitude.
On the other hand, making a 9-year old switch schools, leaving behind all of his friends, the engineering curriculum that is so suited to his strengths, and all that is familiar, because the current school is no longer willing to accommodate seems like the wrong thing to do. What if the new school begins to make life difficult too? What if the teacher leaves? Then what....another school? Homeschool? We could "force" the school to accommodate better (they are already very accommodating, in my opinion), but how would that benefit Matthew, who has to face that teacher and principal every day? By law they are allowed to discipline him for his behaviors so long as they are following the IEP, and suspend him if necessary so long as the suspension or disciplinary measures are not a change in placement.
That leaves us with very little that we can do to change the current situation, other than change schools again.
Susan
www.susancalistri.com
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Lego Therapy for Autism
I stumbled upon this article about therapy for autistic children using Legos. One thing that stuck with me was the author's comment that autistic children who otherwise have social skills deficits could talk and play together when using (and discussing) Legos. Legos and similar building blocks have been a staple of my son's play since he was old enough to hold the large building blocks, eventually graduating from those to Duplo (the medium-sized blocks) to the standard Legos.
These are some of his most recent "creations." Though he has been building the very large standard sets by following the instructions, since he was four years old, it is only in the last year that he has moved to planning and building models on his own, sometimes spending hours looking for just the right piece to make the creation perfect.
(As an aside, we have tried other building blocks, which much less success than with Legos. The K'nect sets were okay for a while, but didn't hold his attention for nearly as long, and the non-Lego brand sets just didn't fit together as well for some reason.)
Susan
www.susancalistri.com
Houston, We Have a Problem!
Living
with a child with autism is not easy. My son Matthew is nine years old
and diagnosed with pervasive developmental disorder -- essentially
"atypical" Asperger's Syndrome. He doesn't think like other kids, and
doesn't always understand social norms even though he craves friendship,
companionship and social interaction. He learns to interact with
others in the same way that typical children learn math or science:
through learning instead of instinct.
Those
are his challenges. But he has other qualities that make him special
and amazing. He has an extremely high IQ, which allowed him to talk in
full sentences by the time he was eighteen months old; to read simple
books by the time he was three; to assemble a 1200+ piece Lego set alone
when he was five; and to excel at math, science and engineering. He is
curious about the world, loving with his family, and a true and
staunchly loyal friend.
This
blog is not about autism exactly. It's about autism and life, and the
things that we learn as we make the journey together. Some of the posts
will be about Matthew, his autism, schooling and other things we are
learning along the way; other posts will be about whatever strikes my
fancy, like cooking, writing or my latest passion, jewelry-making. I'll also provide resources that I think are useful.
I
hope you look around and enjoy what you see.
Susan
www.susancalistri.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)